15 Dad jokes

Those are dad jokes, not dead jokes.
Well, I guess most kids would reather be dead than hear their dad tell these corny ass dad jokes again.
Then again, dad jokes are fun.
And they are even more fun when dad is drunk as hell and telling these jokes with his friends.
That is a real win-win. Dad has a laugh and the kids don’t get annoyed.
When the kids grow older, they will realize that these dadjokes are just a necessity for a dad to stay sane with those crazy ass kids that he got.

Dad Jokes

1. How many apples grow on a tree? All of them
2. I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen.
3. What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.
   1. Can you still say this?
4. Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.
   1. A favourite with all different items
5. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant
6. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese.
7. What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto
8. The rotation of earth really makes my day.
   1. This one is even too smart for me
9. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up
10. I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
11. What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
12. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.
13. I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—it was just gathering dust!
14. You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.
15. Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents.

Within those 15 dad jokes there must have been at least one joke that made you giggle a little bit.

Tell me your favourite dad joke in the comments and it might make it into a blogpost.